Waiting for the rarest call

Here I am again surrounded by millions of thoughts
racing down with each other
From first clumsy kiss to unacceptable 'no'
distance letting one miss the other.

I remember the first visit to messy home
doors & walls littered with clothes
everything made me tensed and low
but his smile let self go of most.

Words wove amidst the void,
To clear the ambiguous clouds.
They heeded the pain,
And were the only thing keeping me sane.

With every passing day by day
I look upon you , stalking you
I make sure to capture every single glance
that's all I'm left with except loving you.

More to come

Gossip Girl
Xoxo

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
What exactly do I write to the boy who can read my mind?

You’re the only one who has seen first drafts of my poetry & my most uncensored, no filter self.
Because you get me.

You get my obsession with social media & are silently praying for me to get rid of.

You know my need to vent at 5pm about a particularly bad day at work & at 2am when overthinking has led me to believe my life is falling apart.
You also know that coffee & hugs are enough to fix both.

Where I end, you begin. Remember the day when I was too weak to even walk straight? You made sure to take me in arms and put me to sleep holding me tight. You took control so I could let go.
Be it jobs or relationships or life choices, you’ve encouraged me to not settle till I find something that makes me happy.

You’re my biggest cheerleader. And my worst critic. It's hard to find someone who loves you for who you are & at the same time, is constantly pushing you to be the best version of yourself.

You make me want to grow, be better, more persistent, more confident.
You make me want to be more.
I love how we can have conversations about everything & nothing  & know even what is left unsaid.
I love how no matter where we are in the world, you're my home.
I love how you are so huge a part of my everyday that I see you there for the rest of forever.

I find happiness in those old conversations and times.

What I am trying to say is, maybe love isn’t in the first sight, violins & a celebratory ‘yes’. 

Maybe it is in the familiarity, comfortable silences & hundreds of ‘yes’s that follow.
It isn’t an occurrence, but a choice.
And if I could choose a thousand times, I’d still choose you. Forever and ever.

Sometimes, dragons must be slayed, odds must be defied, lives must be risked for a happily-ever-after. Take a risk with me ! I'm sure you will, its just a matter of time.

Sometimes, life gives it to us when we aren’t even looking & all it takes is a leap of faith.

I’ll wait for you, on the other side.

- Your Everything.

Silliness over silly

In the hallway, when my eyes chased him i felt happy seeing someone who still carries hope in his heart, someone who has kindness in his eyes and generosity in his fingertips helping everyone despite the terrible things happening around the corner in his life.

I like those who shows me a part of their inner soul and those who considers the small minute details that can affect other person.

Days after days passed, the moments shared with someone never ran out to treasure. I came to the realisation of sharing my heart only with him. I never lost hope or felt guilty about my stupid sins , because the least he would do was to hold my hand and take away every pain strangling inside. I knew he would never let me run out of myself.

Every person is a stranger at a time but this one out of all people i have known, made me beautifully chaotic.

My fears comes in the form of man with sparkling eyes and ear-to-ear smile whom i never want to lose and i would never want to faint those heartbeats racing faster inside me when we hold hands. Those pounding and chills running inside can never go as he is the one my heart waited for.

People say "Relationship with no fights is the relation with many secrets!" Do you feel the same?

Because i have put out my heart for you and we can mark  an exception for this statement. 

Forever amd ever
Gossip Girl xoxo